Life will never be the same

Recently I have been going through a lot. Its hard for me. To see my family and friends see the way I feel. I struggle with addiction,depression, and other thoughts i shouldnt have. Its hard for me to be happy. I lost my best friend, and he was the only one who could make me happy and cheer me up. I couldnt stand life without him. I got a reality check and now I just cant stand the thought of me being alive.I wish he was still here.I just feel like i dont belong anymore. Feel like noone cares if i were to fall off the face of this earth. Would anyone notice? Now everythinng is getting worse for me, and its harder for me to deal with it all. Is there anything i can do besides deal with the pain in some unimaginable way?What to do? :( Life will never be the same